


How Do You Woo A Wooer?

by orphan_account



Series: Discord Prompted Ficlets [12]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Alastors Mom is Cruel, Angel Dust Being Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust is a Fluffy Whore, Angel Dust-Typical Sexual Content (Hazbin Hotel), Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Seduction, Seduction Via the Phone, Sex Positive Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alastors thoughts on sexuality and romance differ in Hell to when he was on Earth.
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie
Series: Discord Prompted Ficlets [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572817
Comments: 13
Kudos: 302





	How Do You Woo A Wooer?

**Author's Note:**

> Alastor is sex positive Ace with Gay Romantic in this ficlet.
> 
> Once again prompted by friends on Discord, this goes out to you my Queers <3

Alastors death on earth had been a shock, well, a shot to the head to the soundtrack of dogs in the bayou. He'd spent years hunting and killing the men in his city, the ones who were everything he hated because he couldn't be them, homosexual scum. There were women too, the ones who loved other women, held hands and kissed them as sweetly as a married woman would her husband. 

Coming to hell though, everything was different, rules were gone, demons everywhere indulging in sin. It became so easy to do the things he'd always wanted, but at the same time, now he actually felt scared of being with someone romantically because how was he supposed to do that? He'd never experienced a romantic relationship, not since those two times he experimented with women while he was alive.

He'd never gotten further than a date each time.

And then the hotel came to be, with the demon princess and her lady lover, he'd almost gaped when he'd seen them being so open with their romance one morning, watching them carefully, smile ever present as he tried to learn to do what they were doing. 

And there was that insufferable pink whore of a spider, with that soft fluffy chest and beautiful mismatched eyes... He shook that thought from his head, ordering another drink from the perpetually always pissed off kitty not seeing Angel coming into the room behind him.

Angels saunter, the clip of his heels on the tiles was what alerted Alastor that there was someone there, but it was Angels voice, talking softly into a hellphone as he moved to be sitting on a stool all the way at the other end of the bar that told him who it was.

"No, no babe, I can do this for ya, don't worry" was said in that sweet little Brooklyn accent, and Alastor took a sip of his drink to hide the way his eyes widened. "No look, it's okay, if ya want cuddles after I am down for that sweetheart, you're paying just to be with me, in any way that you want or need, if you want cuddles after I am happy to do cuddle time" Angel announced, voice soft and sultry, sending a surge of warmth down to Alastors stomach while another warmth settled on his face, cheeks reddening softly in the dim light.

He took another drink, sipping slow to hide his face behind the rim of the cup, letting his cheeks cool.

"Alright babe, it's a deal, a snuggle then a cuddle and after we give each other a kiss goodbye" the pink spider said, using the pause at the end to sip on a drink with a straw, one hand up, caressing the back of his neck where that little heart was. 

Alastor for a moment, while no-one was looking, allowed himself a moment to imagine being the John angel would be with later tonight, imagined tracing that little heart on the back of the taller demons head, spooning him from behind.

He shook that thought away with a grin that hid a scowl, downing the last of his drink and ordering another while angel laughed softly, hanging up his phone and did the same as Alastor was, downed his drink in one go.

It was months later, as Alastor learned to flirt by watching the others at the hotel and he'd finally figured out what to do to get Angels attention because ever since he'd said no to the "suck your dick" comment Angel hadn't flirted with him since. It was a grin different to the others he'd worn on his face that evening, watching the comings and goings of the hotel and yes, there was Angel, miniskirt and suit jacket and those boots that did amazing things to his pert little derriere.

Thankfully the fluffy whore wasn't on the phone, not taking calls this evening because it was his night off and Alastor watched him saunter up to the bar, slide onto a stool to lean against the bar primly, throwing a careless flirt at Husk while his drink was made but otherwise making no effort to do anything sinful this evening.

Alastor slid up behind him, clawed fingers of his left hand moving to trace that perfectly placed little heart and the other slid around a shoulder as he leaned down into the sitting spiders place, voice hot and deep, whispering into the sluts ear, "hmmm, Darling, what are you doing by yourself on a night like this?"

Angel froze in his grasp, face turning red slowly, flush going down into his fluff, staining it a dark pink and a slow shudder worked its way down the sex workers spine, and Alastor felt a surge of pride as well as hunger different to any he'd felt before. "What's wrong my Dear, has a demon caught your tongue" Alastor whispered, leaning just a touch closer so his lips brushed soft pink skin with every word and Alastor could have sworn Angel Dust was swooning.

"H-h-hey Al" the Spider whispered, clearing his throat as it cracked on his name and more heat surged through Alastor, triumphant grin widening as the flushing whore, no longer just shades of pink but now shades of red too, turned to look at him, eyes a little glassy and was that hunger? No, that was lust, honest lust, not the stuff he faked for his clients.

"hi Alastor, I'm, um, night off' the pink demon said after clearing his throat, frozen in place still, looking like a, well, deer in the headlights, all pun intended and Alastors smirk widened as Angel, even when he was trying to compose himself, still stumbled over his words. He didn't notice the shadow stealing a business card from his pocket, but he did sigh with relief when the radio demon released him, clawed fingers tracing through his heart one last time before withdrawing.

Husks back was turned to them, muttering something about public places, time.and a place for everything and Alastor laughed, sitting on a stool and reaching across the bar to pull on a long whiskered eyebrow. "A drink for my dear AngelDust and I please my good fellow" he said, allowing Angel a few moments to collect himself properly.

Their drinks were served and Alastor left after drinking, a hand in his pocket, caressing the business card with Angels hellphone number on it, grin widening as wicked plans were now to be set in motion. 

He waited until the next evening, waiting for when Angel would turn his work phone on and as soon as the clock struck he dialled, pressed ring and waited some more, grin wide and.static dissipating around him, carefully removing his radio host persona voice to allow his real accent through. Angel Picked up on the third ring.

"Hi, looks like I have a new caller, what would you like me to call you sweetheart?" Angel asked, voice soft and a little husky around the edges and Alastor felt heat curling in his stomach.

"Well Cher, I guess you could call me Red for now" Alastor flirted right back, his own voice low and sultry, Cajun accent giving the words a sinfully sweet twist and he could hear Angels breath hitch through the phone. 

Oh this was going to be entertaining.

He did that every night, called angel and spent ten, maybe twenty minutes working the Spider up. Whispering sweet nothings to him through the phone, seducing him and then disappearing to watch as the frustrated whore tried to find satisfaction elsewhere. It got to the point where Angel allowed "Red" to call during his out of business hours, turning his phone on earlier throughout the day just to talk to his mysterious admirer. 

Not all the calls were about sex, some of them were just friendly, others romantic, one time he even had flowers sent up to Angels room after pretending to find it out and the next call was Angel thanking him, voice sweet, genuinely happy with the girft.

Over the weeks, Alastor watched Angel flourish, blooming like some wild flower, smile and laughter almost always present, even as his "frustration" got worse, his mood just got better and better. 

Alastor grinned wide at the knowledge that it was him, even if no one else knew it, that was making the Spider blush, smile, laugh, sing and dance through the halls most days. He stalked down a hallway towards Charlie's office, ready for another meeting and paused just outside, two voices within. 

"Oh Angel, that's a wonderful step towards redemption, falling in love can be a really big redeeming feeling" Charlie's voice announced and Alastor leaned closer, pressing his ear to the door, shadow slithering away to keep a lookout. 

"But toots, I dun even know what he looks like, I've never met him, we just talk on the phone, and what if I ain't loved back?" Angel asked back, the sheer pain and desperation in his voice sending a knife through Alastors heart and his smile slipped, leaning against the door, ear twitching to try and pick up more noise. 

"You won't know until you try sweetie, and it's better to have loved and lost; than to have never loved at all" Charlie murmured back and there were some odd noises from the office. He leaned away slightly, adjusting himself so he could see through the keyhole and Angel was sitting in a chair, arms wrapped around his legs, face hidden in his knees, leaning into the princesses hug.

Alastor decided then and there that his next phone call was to take their relationship to the next stage.

He procrastinated, waiting three days before calling Angel, prompted to do it when he saw how his radio silence, no pun intended this time, affected his sweetheart. The Spider was drooping, perking up when his hellphone rang but slumping, all false cheer to hide the way his shoulders sagged and eyes dulled everytime he read the caller ID and was denied his special Red. 

He couldn't stand to see Angels smile dimmed and empty like this.

Angel Picked up on the first ring. Voice filled with elation and something warm but not heated and Alastors heart thrummed with excitement and nerves, his own smile softening sweetly. "I'm real sorry for not calling sooner Cher, I had something to figure out, I would like to meet ya in person, if that's something you'll like too" he suggested and felt himself melting when Angel agreed, jumping on the opportunity and their first date was set.

The next night Alastor wore his best, polished and shined his shoes, coat repaired by Niffty, cufflinks clipped and tie done straight and he stared at himself in the mirror, nerves showing through his timid, shy smile. He looked down at his microphone, swallowed nervously and asked, no hint of radio static, just his accent shining through, "how do I look?"

"Devilishly handsome" was his reply and before his nerves could beat him, he strode from the room, pace fast and determined; avoiding the elevator so he wouldn't be stuck standing still to think about all the ways this could go wrong, swinging and twirling his.microphone just to give his hands something to do.

He reached the foyer, the agreed meeting place and paused in the stairwell as the foyer was full of voices, angels was distressed and there was a familiar, haunting voice that sent chills down the deer demons spine. He stepped into the room as voices became raised, Angel cowering away from a red demon woman in a long dress weilding a holy gun, rifle cocked against her shoulder. 

"I came here to visit my son and now I'm surrounded by queers" she announced, leveling her sights on the pink spider who flinched, twitching against the bar and Alastors blood ran cold as memories rushed to the surface, memories of his mother trying to beat the gay out of him, forcing him into church, memories of Angels smiling voice and sweet laughter. 

"What're ya doin' ma? I'm thinkin' ye need to leave me Cher alone and go" he said, stalking forward, grasping his microphone securely, swinging it Inna perfect arch to tap the base against the tiled floors, leaning on it. 

He stared his mother down but he faltered, eyes darting to Angel who had covered his mouth with his hands, astonishment clear in his gorgeous two toned eyes. "Al? Wait... Red?" And Alastors hate filled smile softened into something completely endeared and he was too distracted to notice his mother changing where the gun was aimed.

At him.

"I didn't raise my son to be a fairy faggot for some whore like him" she screeched, firing and Alastor didn't react in time.

The bullet collided with his lithe frame and he was thrown backwards. Sliding across the floor, trail of blood left behind and he was too stunned, too shocked and reliving his death, it was flashing before his eyes, he could even hear the dogs barking echoing through the bayou. His vision was swimming. Light seemed to be fading. He could hear someone screaming his name and then it was dark.

Angel felt his world ripping away from him, vision blurring as tears streamed from his eyes and he could hear screaming. It took him a moment to realise it was him screaming, rage, pain, heartbreak. His voice was hoarse and his fangs felt strange. He pushed himself away from the bar, advancing on the red lady in front of him, stalking forwards and all he could see was the gun. That fucking gun. He could hear her laughter over his hoarse breathing. Chest aching with more than just heartbreak and he snapped forwards. 

He yanked the gun from her hands, twisting it around to aim at her, looming over her and pulled the trigger, hitting her in the gut, watching with savage satisfaction as she was thrown back, he kept following after her though, vision swimming as the smell of.her blood assaulted his nose. 

Everything faded to darkness like he was closing his eyes as something darker than he thought possible rose from within his broken soul.

Charlie was by Alastors side as soon as the second shot rang out, conjuring a shield around herself and the others when they all congregated around Alastors dying body. Angel rampaged against Al's mother, dragging her body around.

Vaggie watched in astonishment as Husk and Niffty set to work on the wound. Fishing the bullet out and patching the hole and she clutched her holy spear tight in her fists, ready for if Angels carnage got directed at them too. 

Alastors chest was still rising and falling, though his breaths were short and too slow and Charlie, with tears in her eyes pressed her hands to his chest, praying for a miracle. 

And God must have been listening to the princess of Hell.

Her hands glowed with soft, divine light, swirling from her to Alastor, wound sealing closed. A heart shaped scar was all that remained and he sat with a shout, rising with hands scrabbling at his chest, breathing erratic and tears of pain and jubilation alike in his red eyes. 

The carnage stopped. Everything went silent.

Alastor patted his chest down. Fingering the scar as he laughed, a broken, scratchy sound as blood, thick and coagulated spluttered down his chin, he coughed, moving to push himself up, looking around for Angel, who was not looking at all like Angel. 

He was monstrous and huge, reds and pinks swirling with blacks and Alastor stared. "Cher?" He called and watched as the Spider seemed to recoil before stalking forwards shrieking loudly, voice a piercing high note and Alastor flinched.

Angel roared and then charged and everyone screamed, except Alastor who closed his eyes and tensed all over. He was expecting pain, not arms wrapping around him, not to be lifted up and spun around by a crying, laughing, shrinking spider demon. He stared down in shock and then blinked dumbly when lips pressed to his.

"I thought you was dead"

"Honestly, I thought I was too Cher"


End file.
